I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
