is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
