You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
