I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
