They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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