Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
