I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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