accomplished twins. life is a go
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
