We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
