Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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