I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
