i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
