I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
