Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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