Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
