For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
