this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
