No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
