It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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