That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
