Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
