We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
