For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
