you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
soo... how was my night?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
