just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
