I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
