You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
