I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
