walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
