i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
