he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
