i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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