Porn is love you can see.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
