Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
