I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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