i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
