The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
