He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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