I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
