The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
