Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
