You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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