We got so high we made milksteak
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
