just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Randomize
