he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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