we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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