Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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