i just google imaged poop.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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