Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
