my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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