I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Randomize
